Christmas take one- Drama, drama, drama.
Today we went to my in-laws house to celebrate Christmas early. They’re going to be in Oregon for Christmas, and Josh’s grandparents (who are from Oregon) just so happen to be down visiting, so it was the perfect time to meet up, hang out, and exchange gifts.
Somehow Kaelyn ended up being on Josh’s grandma’s lap, which would have been no big deal any other time (she is her great grandma after all), but then a gift was picked up and given to Kaelyn, and she started to rip at the wrapping paper. My reaction? Um, I think not. This is the FIRST present that my daughter has unwrapped in her entire life, EVER. You can bet your butt she is going to do it on my lap, with my help. So I say to Josh’s grandma, “Oh, I’ll take her!” and she says “no” as she wraps her arms tightly around her. I’m shocked. My thoughts: Excuse me? I say “This is the first present she has EVER opened, I’m going to hold her.” Then, I reach to pick her up out of her arms and she wraps them even more tightly around her. “No, I am.” My thoughts: Excuuuuusssseeee meeeee?!?!?!? I say “I’m the mom, I make the rules. I am going to hold her.” I am met with nothing but opposition. My thoughts: Seriously lady? This just went from bad to ten times worse. Give me my baby, NOW. I say “Honestly, I am going to hold her. Give her to me.” And she completely refuses. Her arms are totally wrapped around Kaelyn, who is reaching for me and pissed off at this point, meanwhile I’m trying to pry her arms off of her so that I can pick her up. Finally Josh says, “Grandma….” My mother-in-law, who was previously sitting next to me, has disappeared altogether, and Josh’s little sister is staring in disbelief as her grandma and I fight over MY baby. After much tugging and repeated “No,” “Yes,” No,” “YES!!” I win.
I pull her onto my lap, which isn’t even an issue now because she has already finished opening the only first present she will ever open in her entire life. And I didn’t even get to hold her and help :( This is the first first that I have missed, or rather someone has taken away from me, and I am seriously pissed. By now Kaelyn is crying from being the object of a tug-a-war game, and Josh’s grandma has the nerve to say “You brought that!!” I’m thinking: Um, no. You did. When I told you to give me my daughter and you told me no. I didn’t keep it going or make a bigger deal out of it, although I had to fight to hold it back, and then about 45 seconds later Kaelyn is fussing and squirming because she wants to get on the floor and play with her new toy. I put her down and let her walk over to the toy and Josh’s grandma looks at me with tears in her eyes and says, in the most offended voice I have ever heard, “You took her out of my arms to put her on the floor?! She is my great granddaughter!!!” I’m thinking: Seriously right now? I just missed getting to help my daughter open her first present and you’re mad because I took her away from you for a few seconds? But I had already missed the whole freaking opening her first present thing so I was like whatever. I said “Yea, and she is my daughter. She wants to play with her toy. You can hold her again in a minute, I just wanted to help her open her gift.” And Josh’s grandma is still all sad about it.
I was honestly about to walk out right then and there. Livid, furious, and outraged do not even begin to describe my feelings on the matter. There is one thing in this world that is more important to me than ANYTHING else: Kaelyn. If you are smart, you do not try to come between she and I. I will win, you will lose, and you will get totally chewed out in the process. Seriously, trying to tell me what will and will not happen with my daughter is the biggest mistake anyone can make. Consider yourselves forewarned!
Here is an illustration.

Despite the nagging desire I had to storm out, I was mature about the situation and dropped it after that. We ended up staying longer than expected and played a seemingly never-ending game of pinochle with Josh’s grandparents. We had a lot of fun. There was no more drama, and we got along much better as the night progressed. Despite that, I’m totally bummed that I was not holding Kaelyn and helping her unwrap her very first present. A little tiny first, but a first nonetheless, a first that was taken from me and a first I can never get back. Can you tell I’m bitter? :/

oh my goodness. I would flip a lid, not be calm about it. This Christmas I will be holding Ryan for his presents (last christmas he was only 3 months so he didnt open any) You are Kaelyns mom, and even if she wasn’t opening a present you have the right to take her at ANY TIME. You are the mom.
I forgot to add I don’t blame you one bit and I think you were completely in the right.
I totally agree with jamie. you had every right to take Kaelyn away from her. And the fact that she wanted to play tug a war with a baby instead of just giving her over was very childish. I dont think i could be as strong of a women as you are i would have freaked. i prob would of hit an old lady haha j/k i’m not abusive. lol
i wouldve been so mad! the nerves!… ugh… you did the right thing although it sucks you didnt get to hold her! i hope she lightens up aand realizes what she did. like you said. YOU are the mother, YOU make the rules!
Thanks for the support, ladies! I’m glad you all agree that I was justified in my actions. It was so frustrating to me. I would never think of telling a mother no when she has asked me to give her child to her, and I can’t imagine how anyone would think that is an ok thing to do. Family or not, there is a line that should not be crossed.
Omg, how frustrating! I would have been so upset too. I probably would have just left after that because I wouldn’t want Kayleigh to see mommy all upset like that and stuff. It’d be really hard for me to relax after that and enjoy myself. I can’t believe that she refused to give you your daughter when you wanted her. That’s just so messed up, seriously!
I’m sorry you missed this first with her :( What does Josh think about all this?
Thanks, Sarah. Yea, I was so frustrated. But this is only the second time she has ever seen Kaelyn, and the first time Josh’s grandpa has seen her so I didn’t want to leave when Kaelyn probably won’t get to see them for another year or so. Even though I wanted to storm out, I had to resist.
As for Josh, it bugged him too. He was surprised that I didn’t start yelling more than I did. And he’s sorry that he didn’t do more. He just said “Grandma…” when it got out of hand. But he didn’t say more because he didn’t want to make it all blow up and get even worse. He definitely thinks I was justified and that his grandma was out of line, though.
Glad to hear Josh totally had your back. I would have too if I’d been there :)