But anyways, I was fitted for contacts and now I can see everything perfectly. It is so weird after having been unable to see for the past six years. I’m still trying to get used to the fact that trees from a distance, do indeed have leaves, and the fact that I can see those leaves! And Josh is very excited because I can now see a difference between the HD channels and the regular channels and I have agreed to make sure I record only HD. This was a big issue before because they both looked the same to me and I would record whichever one I found first (usually the regular channel because the HD channels are way up in the 400s) and Josh would get mad every time he had to watch blurry TV. Now, I too can tell that it is blurry, and Josh is oh so grateful for the eye doctor at Wal-Mart.

So on to the point. I need you, my wonderful readers!! :) To tell me what you think about colored contacts. I was thinking about getting blue ones because my eyes are green-ish blue, and I would rather them be one color than a mixture of two. I never know what to write on DMV papers and other things that ask for eye color. Apparently you have to pick one, you can’t just write blue/green and it always throws me off. Some of my paperwork says blue eyes and some says green. I like to keep things interesting. I think they are more green than blue, but whatever. So, the lovely wal-mart eye doc gave me some sample colored contacts and I tried them out. I tried blue and green and I’m not really sold on either pair. The blue ones look WEIRD and the green ones don’t change much, they just make my eyes a little brighter. So I’m thinking I will either just keep the regular, non-colored ones or I will maaaaybe get the green ones. But, I thought I’d ask for outside opinions. So what do you think?

*Edited to add a poll instead of just pictures. Now even the lurkers who are too embarrassed to post comments can vote too. It’s totally anonymous, by the way**

So, we’ve been looking around. We’ve found quite a few rental homes that seem really nice and doable, so we were planning on moving into one when our lease is up. Then we got an offer to rent the house that I grew up in, which would be wonderful. It’s an older house and it’s on the small side (built in the late 1980s, 1650 sq. ft.), but it is 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, and it has a nice yard. If we were to rent this home, we would be able to stay there long-term (5+ years)  because the owner has no intention of using it for anything other than a rental. Plus, I already know all the neighbors and it is zoned for the best schools in the district, which would be great if we stayed there until we buy a house of our own!

And then we were presented with an offer to rent a much larger, much newer home (built in 2005, 3400 sq.ft.) that has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms for the same price as the house I grew up in. Obviously we were thrilled, but the only downside is that it is in Wildomar, not Murrieta. I would much rather be in Murrieta, especially if we might be there for a few years. Just because I want Kaelyn in the Murrieta School District, but I guess we could address that once we get to it. And if I am teaching by then getting a transfer shouldn’t be much of an issue. Well, anyways, with this house we would also have the option for it to be a rent to buy. Which would be even BETTER!

The house that I grew up in is not available until the current tenant’s lease is up in October, and the other home does not have a time frame as to when it will be available. It’s a complicated situation, but basically it could be next month or it could be next year. I don’t think it will be any farther than a year away, though.

So we started thinking, and obviously the bigger newer home makes more sense, but we definitely need something for the time between our lease expiring here and us being able to move into the home. We don’t want to sign another year long, or even six month long lease, because we don’t know when the house will be available, and we’d hate to miss out on the opportunity just because we are stuck in a lease. So, we decided to move in with my in-laws. They have a detached room that they told us we could rent out for a couple hundred dollars a month. If we did this, we would be able to save up quite a bit of money while we wait for the house to become available, and we would feel more comfortable jumping into such a big commitment. Without this buffer, we would be stretching ourselves pretty thin once we move into the house.

So, we got to thinking that maybe it would be best to just live with Josh’s parents for awhile and pay some things off. We have three and a half years left of car payments until we have paid off my car, and Josh’s student loans are currently on a 10-year payoff plan, so we have another 8 years for that. But, if we were to stay with his parents and put all of the money we are used to paying on rent into savings then we could have the car paid off by December of this year, and the student loans paid off by April 1, 2011. So, after a year of living with his parents we could be entirely debt-free, and that would free up quite a bit of extra money every month since we would no longer have those monthly payments. Then, renting the bigger home, or even just moving forward with buying a home of our own would be no problem at all.

So, we talked to Josh’s parents about it and they aren’t so sure about us living with them for that long. Since two different families living under one roof can easily cause disagreements and tension, they don’t want to jeopardize our relationship with them by living together for so long. So, they want to take it a couple months at a time and see how things go.

So as of now that is the plan. Ideally, we would LOVE to be able to stay with his parents for a year and a half and pay everything off and then have a significant chunk of money in savings to use as a down payment on a home of our own, but if things don’t go too well while we are living with them then we will have to explore other options. More than likely, if the house is still available by April 1, 2011 then we will end up moving into the newer bigger house with a rent-to-buy plan.

But either way, we are moving in with my in-laws on March 31st. It is going to be my father-in-law, mother-in-law, 5 little sibling-in-laws (aged 14, 11, 8, 6, and 2) Josh, Kaelyn, and me all living together. That is a lot of Paschalls! So wish us luck, lol! :)

So anyways, I was bummed about the lack of rain, but then I thought to myself, “Hey, this could be a good thing! We should take advantage of this sunny day and do something fun- outdoors!” And I thought for about 5 minutes before I deciding that I suck at coming up with ideas of fun things to do. Then I walked over to the computer and googled “things to do in southern california.” Yes, I’m serious. Yes, I have lived here for 19 years. Don’t judge.

And my search results turned up a bunch of things that are either not that great, way overpriced, not baby friendly, or awesome but we have already done them a million and a half times. Disneyland, SeaWorld, San Diego Zoo, Knott’s Berry Farm, a number of beaches. Same old same old. Blah, blah, blah. Then I found a link that said “Free attractions” and thought, “Oooh, yea!” Sure enough, the first result was Chinatown in LA. A place I have only been once, and Josh/Kaelyn have never been to before. Upon further examination of their website I discovered today was the day of the annual Golden Dragon parade. Even better!!

So we got ready, packed up and headed out. Three hours later we reached Chinatown. The GPS on Josh’s phone took us to some winery near downtown LA, not Chinatown. Then we got stuck in traffic while driving around aimlessly trying to find the right place.  All the roads were closed down because of the parade so we really didn’t have many options and we drove around in circles in RIDICULOUS traffic for what seemed like forever. Then we finally found it but there was no parking to be found. Well,  I turned down some random alley road thingy that was literally RIGHT down the street from Chinatown, like less than a block away and voila! A truck pulled out as I pulled in. Best. Parking. Spot. Ever.

The parade ended before we even got there, but we still had lots of fun. We bought K a Chinese outfit with matching shoes, an umbrella, and a little windmill thingy that she couldn’t live without (a.k.a she picked up out of a box at some random vendor stand and refused to put back down). We walked around for awhile checking out the shops, let K ride on all of the little 50 cent rides, and we had dinner at an extremely authentic Chinese place. I had shrimp with cashews and Josh had lemon chicken. Yummmy! :D

A blog, as defined by google, is a “shared on-line journal.” Now, I don’t know about you, but to me a “journal” is a place where you share your thoughts. All thoughts. Not just some thoughts, not just the happy thoughts, and certainly not just thoughts that you feel will not offend anyone. I post on my blog when I am excited, when I am happy, when I am sad, and when I am mad. Therefore, you are going to see a wide range of commentary. You will see sarcasm, you will see negativity, you will see joy, and you will see excitement.

If at any time you do not like what you are reading, let me remind you that you are free to stop reading. I do not ask, nor do I tell  ANYONE to read my blog. So if you are here, you are here because you are interested in what I have to say. I am not here to cater to the interest or feelings of my readers. If you are disinterested or offended, you may stop reading. It isn’t going to hurt my feelings. I will not stop posting my thoughts, feelings, and opinions simply because someone may not like them. What I have to say is not always positive, and sometimes it is quite negative. Sometimes it is targeted at certain individuals. If you are one of those individuals, you do not have to read my blog. If you choose to, that is your deal, not mine.

This is a public blog, because I am a very open person. I do use discretion when posting, but my definition of discretion is more than likely different than yours. I will not change what I think is and is not appropriate to post online simply because your opinion is different than mine.

This is my journal, and I am comfortable sharing it with the world. If you are not comfortable with the world knowing my opinions, the best I can do for you is say I’m sorry you feel that way. If you do not want the world to know your actions because you think they are negative, then maybe you should change your actions. This isn’t an advertisement or a fairy-tale. It’s real life. It is the truth, and it’s not always pleasant. If that doesn’t work for you, feel free to stop reading.

I woke up in the morning on January 6, 2009, still extremely pregnant and ridiculously uncomfortable, and I did the same things I had grown accustomed to doing over the past 9 months. First, Josh pushed my back and butt up and out of bed since getting out on my own had become impossible at this point. (Side note, I wasn’t THAT lazy and/or out of shape, we just have a super low bed that is exactly like this. I’d like to see you get yourself out of that with a 7.5lb baby in your belly!) And then as Josh left for work, I started cleaning the house, AGAIN. Because if this baby decided to come out today, which I was 110% sure was not going to happen, I was sure as heck going to have a clean house to come home from the hospital to. Then, the cleaning was done, I was ready for the day, and it was time to complain on ivillage about the fact that I was still pregnant. This is something I had become very good at.

Fast forward to 3pm. Bumming around the house being uncomfortable and willing the baby out of my belly was how I had spent my entire day. But now I was starting to feel something. Could that be more than a Braxton Hicks? No, it’s just a braxton hicks. Crud! And then as I decided to vacuum and mop once more, they started to get stronger. Me, being the pessimist that I am, did not tell anyone. With my luck, If I shared my exciting news, it would stop. So I kept quiet. I finished mopping and vacuuming and I made meat and potatoes for dinner. Half way through making dinner things really started to get painful. I had to take a few breaks that involved bending over in a very awkward way and holding onto the counter for dear life.

Then, 6pm rolled around and Josh came home. He noticed something was up and started to get excited, so I told him to chill or he was going to jinx it. We ate a nice, calm, although somewhat painful dinner, and waited. As the contractions started to get more painful and less spread out, Josh began making all the important calls. Everyone kept insisting we go to the hospital. I was waiting it out until, at the very least, my OB appointment at 8pm. I refused to be one of those first-time moms who shows up at the hospital 15 times thinking they are in labor only to be sent home. So, we waited and I swore to Josh that if this was not really labor there was no way I was going to be able to survive the real deal because this freaking hurt!

Then, 8pm rolled around and it was time to go to my doctor’s appointment. After an internal exam it was determined that I was, indeed, in early labor. I was 2cm dilated and completely effaced (as opposed to 50% effaced and not dilated at all the week prior). Without asking or telling me what he was doing my OB swept my membranes. For those of you who have never experienced this before, I will sum it up for you in one word: F*$&!!!!!!!!!! There were tears (the only tears I shed during labor, believe it or not!) and a lot of “OOOOOWWWW!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!??! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!!” But afterward I was thankful. I mean if I was already in labor this probably couldn’t hurt matters, right? So he instructed me to head to the hospital as soon as the contractions were 3 minutes apart, and he said he was 95% sure I would have a baby in my arms by morning. Sweet!

Then we went to pick up my best friend/labor photographer from her house, and headed home. At this point contractions were almost unbearable. Every 3-4 minutes I would hold my breath and not say anything and if either one of them touched me I would push them away. But in between, all was well. It’s amazing how you feel no pain whatsoever when you are not contracting and them BAM! It hits you. We called everyone again to let them know that this was the real deal, and found out that my grandma was already at the hospital. She lives in Orange County (1hr ish away) and decided she was coming whether I was there or not because she was not going to miss this. Gotta love her :) After hopping in the bathtub, I had a slight freak out that involved “Oh, no!!!! The contractions totally stopped. I feel absolutely nothing. This sucks!!!” And ended with “AHHHHH!!!!! JUST KIDDING!” As soon as I stepped out of the tub. Turns out water makes contractions much more bearable. When they were painful beyond the point of the bathtub helping I decided it was time to go to the hospital.

It was 11:45 pm when the nurse came into the triage room and did an internal check. I was now 3-4cm so I was definitely progressing. She asked if I was sure that I wanted to do this tonight, and I said yes. She said, “Okay, your water bag is bulging. Technically the doctor has to break it, but if you are sure I can do a ‘rough internal’ and break your water.” My thoughts? Sounds great lady! Let’s do this. 5 seconds later I was writhing in pain and telling her “Heck no! We are so done with this and I will just wait!!” She said they would keep me in there for an hour to make sure I continued to progress and then I would be admitted. The only problem was that their stupid little machine swore I was not having contractions, just a bunch of little cramps and they doubted my claims that I was contracting every 2-3 minutes. So, every 2-3 minutes I looked like an idiot who was in ridiculous pain that, apparently, was not caused by a contraction.

After an hour she came back in, checked me again and said that apparently my pathetic little cramps were doing something because I was now 4cm dilated. I was admitted, and I BEGGED for the epidural. Thankfully the on-call OB was a woman (apparently the men in the practice don’t allow epidurals before 6cm), and she said it was fine. I waited an hour for the on-call anesthesiologist to show up and by the time he got there it was almost 2am. He put it in, and all was great. I could totally do this. Then she did another “rough internal,” which I barely felt at all, and voila! My water broke. Now I was definitely in it for the long-haul. It was then that she decided to put in an internal monitor because they still weren’t seeing any contractions. As soon as that was working she was shocked “Wow! You’re definitely having contractions. Really strong, long-lasting contractions!” No, really? I had no idea. I just thought it would be fun to beg for an epidural and pretend I was in pain. I told you your stupid monitor was broken! By this point I was all hyped up and the nurse insisted I needed sleep so she gave me some nubain. This drug was the most ridiculous thing ever. I did not get tired, I just felt drunk. I was dizzy and disoriented and could not stop laughing. I would fall asleep for about 2-5 minutes and wake up. Poor Josh would stand next to my bed holding my hand until I fell asleep, then go all the way to the other side of the bed/room and lay down in the recliner chair, and just start to fall asleep when I would wake up and want him to come back. This happened about 5 times before I finally fell asleep for good.

They came in on and off throughout the night doing checks and whatnot, but for the most part I slept. I woke up around 5am to find out that I was only 6cm dilated. I had been 6cm since 2:30am. They decided to give me pitocin which was the most ridiculous thing in the world because it did not make me dilate, it just hurt like hell. I told them I could feel everything and that the epidural must not be working and the anesthesiologist came back and topped it off. I could still feel everything, but he said that was all he could give me because I would be total useless when it came to push time if I was completely numb. It was a little less painful so I was fine with that. Hours went by, 8am came around and I was only 7cm. By this point the epidural was doing nothing for me and I was begging for something else. He topped it off once more which lasted until around 9am and then it stopped working again. He said he could not give me anymore at this point and I hated him. So, I had them take it out.

At 11am I was 8cm. Finally, some progress! I kicked my best friend out because she fell asleep and she was not allowed to sleep if I had to go through this and be awake. I yelled at Josh because, “No, I CANNOT do this” and I told him to tell everyone that they most certainly could NOT come in and visit (they -my grandma, Josh’s grandma, and Josh’s mom- had been bugging to come visit all morning). Yep, it was that kind of morning. I had no pain meds, I was being given pitocin- aka make your stomach hurt like nothing you have ever felt in your life drug, and everyone was pissing me off. Finally, at 2:30pm I was 10cm and the nurse wanted me to do a practice push to figure out if she should call the doctor yet. By this point I was EXHAUSTED. I had only had 2.5 hours of sleep, I had been in labor for almost 24 hours, and I had nothing to ease the pain. I tried to push once, and the nurse said that just wasn’t going to do. Then I yelled and told her she was a moron and she could try to be a little more sympathetic and to call the doctor and tell him I was not doing this and he needed to come cut her out. I was begging for a c-section.

Her grumpy little self (for the record, the night nurse was AMAZING. The day nurse was a total jerk) went and called the doctor and came back and smugly said, “He’ll come when you are ready to push, but he doesn’t think there is any reason to do a c-section at this point since you and baby are fine.” Awesome. So, at 2:45 I decided to push. I REALLY pushed twice and she screamed at me to stop. Apparently I was doing something right. She rushed out, called the doctor and told him to come right away. She then stood next to my bed telling me “DON’T PUSH! You have to wait for the doctor!! Don’t push!!!” over and over again while I screamed and did everything in my power to avoid pushing. Then, at 3:25 the doctor FINALLY walked in. 35 minutes of no pushing allowed and I was finally allowed to push. They set up the big light, he put on his blue coat thingy and I pushed like hell. Just then I see someone out of the corner of my eye. Who in the heck is in here…? Turns out it’s my mother-in-law. Oh, heck no! I told EVERYONE that I do not want anyone in here except Josh and Lexie and I kicked Lexie out. So I yelled, “What are you doing in here??!?! I said I didn’t want anyone in here!!!” And the nurses kicked her out. Then, at 3:28pm -3 minutes after I had started pushing- Kaelyn Christina Paschall was born!

Instantly, everything was better. Nothing hurt anymore, and I couldn’t care less about the past 24 hours or the stupid nurse. She was perfect! I watched her look around with her scrunched up face and asian eyes. Josh cut the cord, and the nurses wiped her off and put a hospital tag around her ankle on the little mini bed next to mine. I had to get internal stitches, and I really did not care at all. None of it mattered anymore. I never took my eyes off of her as they stitched me up, and after what seemed like hours (but was really only 2-3 minutes), they handed her over and left. We got a whole hour to ourselves to do some skin-skin time and we just stared at her. She was so, incredibly, perfect! And we couldn’t believe she was really here, and really ours. :)

Here are some pictures of the munchkin right after she was born:


And that night when she was less-squished and more alert:

And now, it has been a year. An entire year since the best day of my life. I don’t have a baby anymore, I have a toddler. A walking, talking little toddler with a mind and a personality of her own. It feels like I have known her forever and like I just had her a couple months ago all at the same time. One thing is for sure, this little girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I absolutely adore her :)

So what changed, you ask? Well, I have this tiny little person who is the most beautiful, spectacular, incredible little girl you will ever meet. She destroys my house and causes her nursery to be extremely disorganized, but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I swear, I could hold her tightly and kiss her cheeks all day (if only she would let me)! January 5, 2009 was her due date- exactly one year ago today. And I was begging, pleading, and bribing her to come out. “Kaelyn, mommy will buy you a car on your sixteenth birthday if you come out RIGHT NOW!” “Kaelyn, don’t you want to wear all your cute clothes?” “Kaelyn, I decorated this nursery especially for you. Aren’t you anxious to see it?”

Little did I know, she already had a mind of her own. If at that time she was the same as she is today, the due date was a challenge to her. She was probably thinking something like, “Mommy has been looking forward to this day for 10 months now. The doctor said this is the day I will come out. I’ll show them! Maybe I’ll come out tomorrow, or even the next day. Just when you’re least expecting it, I’ll come out!” with a big grin. And she certainly stuck to her plan- stubborn little girl!

So, as I watched the hours slowly pass, I scrubbed my kitchen for the second time that day, I vacuumed her room for the third time that day, and I sat on the computer venting to all of the girls on ivillage about the fact that I was destined to be pregnant forever. Then I picked Josh up from work, we ate dinner together, and I went to sleep knowing January 5th wasn’t going to be my munchkin’s birthday…

And that was that! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s “One year ago today…” story. It’s going to be juicy! :)

Christmas came and went, and much to my surprise it never started to really feel like Christmas. Christmas was getting close, and then it was here, and now it’s gone. Blah :/ But it was incredibly fun to watch K open all of her gifts. Christmas morning went like this… we handed K a present, she ripped it open and found the most spectacular toy she had ever seen, we took it out of the packaging and let her play with it for a minute or so, and then gave her another present. She screamed, threw the present, and continued to play with her new toy (the previous present). We then had to hide the first present, let her scream for about 10 seconds, give her a new present and watch the cycle repeat itself… about 35 times. But it was fun at the end when we brought back all of the hidden presents. She had so much fun with her new toys!

My brother is here! We’re so excited, we’ve had so much fun, and we love him to pieces! It’s been SOOOO nice to have him back for awhile. He likes to bark at Kaelyn while he’s playing with her, and she giggles and calls him her “pup pup” (puppy). He leaves for Idaho on the 2nd. :(

Josh is off work until the 4th. It’s great to have him home and we’ve been able to do lots of fun stuff! He took his vacation time because we were planning to go to Idaho, but then that got canceled and now he just has vacation time to hang out at home. Yay!

Yesterday we took my little sister, Sarah, with us to Sea World and K went on the Sesame Street rides. It was funny because they don’t allow “hand-held infants” on the rides, so before they would let us go on Kaelyn had to prove to them that she could take 3 steps on her own. Kind of silly if you ask me, but whatev. We went on the tea cups, Elmo’s flying fish, and some eel roller-coaster thingy. K LOVED it!

Oh! And the other night we had my brother, Tyler, and Rachael over for a movie and a game. It was fun! Josh had a few alcoholic drinks which gave him the courage to finally tell his mom he’s upset about her going to Oregon for Kaelyn’s first Christmas and feels as if she doesn’t make K much of a priority. Go Josh! I’m sure he feels much better now that he has that off his shoulders. It has been bugging him for awhile now.

That’s the reader’s digest version. Sorry if it’s not as entertaining as my usual posts. I’m sure I’ll find something interesting to complain about sooner or later ;)

Me: Let’s just try this real quick *lifts up arms to pass K to Santa*

K: “WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” *freaks out and tries to crawl up and over my shoulder to get as far away from Santa as humanly possible*

Me: Maybe if I just hold her. Babe, don’t get me in the picture. *Scoots close to Santa while still holding K*

K: “WWWWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” *Claws at me to pull herself away from Santa*

Ah, good times. At least we got a few pre-Santa pictures.