The past year has been a roller coaster! It has been full of ups and downs and highs and lows. It has been quite an adventure, and although I wasn’t always convinced I would someday be saying this, I am very happy with where we have ended up. There have been a lot of changes this year; Josh started a new job, we moved to a new state, and even had a new baby! It has been a journey, and one hell of a challenge. But I’m happy to report that I have enjoyed the ride!

Washington is absolutely stunning. I’m finally beginning to appreciate it a little more now that we have experienced nearly an entire year here. The temperature was in the 80s for a total of one or two weeks over the summer. The rest of the summer (August-September) it was in the 70s. Never too hot, rarely too cold. But it was warm enough for just long enough to remind me that rain is my favorite kind of weather. After experiencing nothing but rain and cold for 9 months, I had forgotten this. But now, I remember. It has been gradually cooling down the past few weeks, and now it really feels like fall. The leaves are vibrant shades of red, orange, and yellow. The air is brisk, usually somewhere around 50 degrees. There are still a few days every now and then when the sky is full of sunshine, but it’s never very warm. The clouds are slowly getting grayer, and rain is once again becoming the norm. It truly is divine.

Josh has become a part of a great company. We have found a wonderful church. We have made some spectacular friends, and we really feel as though Washington is our home. I can finally say, without hesitation, that I am happy with where we have ended up. Life is good, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

Other random things I feel inclined to include:
Kaelyn started preschool today. Kaelyn!!!! My little girl… my 7 pound, 19.5 inch baby girl is now a preschooler. It was a fantastic day. She did extremely well and I could not be more proud of the little person she has become.

Scarlett crawls, stands (while holding onto something) and cruises around furniture now. I have a feeling she’s going to be walking earlier than Kaelyn did (1 week before she turned 10mos). She is still the most peaceful and content baby to roam the face of the Earth. I love her more and more every day.

It’s finally fall! What could be better?! :D

Many, if not most, women learn to cook from their mothers. And their mothers probably learned to cook from their mothers, who probably learned from their mothers, and so on and so on. I am not one of those women. Although my grandmother is a great cook, the art of cooking is not something that my mother ever learned from her, or anyone else for that matter. My mom was fabulous at many things, but cooking was not one of them. So, I have very little experience in the kitchen. As I am a full-time stay-at-home mom I have recently decided that I should probably learn to cook. We eat out far too often and it’s high time I learned to make something other than Hamburger Helper. With the help of pinterest.com (If you don’t have one, get one, now. AMAZING.) I have come across quite a few awesome recipes, and I have been slowly improving my kitchen skills. So I’ve decided to share some of my most recent favorite recipes, complete with pictures of how they turned out.

Stuffed Green Bell Peppers. These are great, but even better if you add another link or two of sausage.

Chicken Rollatini stuffed with zucchini and mozzarella. I served this on fettuccine alfredo and it was pure perfection.

Chicken and Cheese Lasagna Rolls. These were pretty good according to the recipe, but much more flavorful after replacing the chicken with Italian sausage and adding another cup of spaghetti sauce.

(Because Josh is putting the girls to bed tonight and I’m avoiding homework)

Kaelyn winks.

Breastfeeding.

Extended Rear-Facing.

These two.

& This one… even with eyes full of tears.

I was talking to another young mom friend the other day about all the challenges that come along with being a young mom/wife (most of which probably apply to being a mom in general, not just a young mom) and it got me really thinking. As we were talking I shared something with her that I haven’t really shared with anyone other than my husband. Which is strange considering it is an extremely significant part of my life. And it is simple: My purpose is to be a mother.

When I was younger and thought about the future I had big dreams and aspirations. They consisted of medical school, and an extremely busy career as a doctor. I went back and forth on what school I wanted to attend and what kind of doctor I wanted to be, but the plan was always the same. And when I thought about my life 10, 15, 20 years down the road I imagined myself getting married after I had finished school. I pictured myself having children after my career was established. The defining feature of my life was always my career. And the children would come eventually, because who doesn’t want to have kids? But they were just icing on the cake. Something to eventually be added to my life as a career woman. When people asked me what I planned to do with my life, I said I wanted to be a doctor. And anything else would have just been extra stuff. Then I had Kaelyn.

I never realized, up until the moment that I first looked into my daughter’s eyes, that I was meant to be a mother. Not a doctor, not a businesswoman, nothing other than a mother. I know that I can still do anything I set my mind to; I could easily go to school and become a doctor. But I have less than no desire to do so. Because I can’t imagine a life in which my main goal, the thing I spend the most time doing, the thing I enjoy doing the most, is anything other than raising my children. Anything that I do on the side, like going to school, finishing my degree, teaching (eventually) is just icing on the cake. The single most defining feature of my life is that I am a mother. This is what I was meant to be. This is what I was meant to do. And I would not change it for the world.

And I don’t know how to work it yet, but I’m determined to figure it out. Meet my new camera.

And Kaelyn in the tub.


And Josh’s eye, because Kaelyn wouldn’t look at the camera anymore and Scarlett was asleep. haha

When I was a little girl, anxious to grow up and do fantastic adult things, my mom told me that I would be there before I knew it. When I went to my first day of high school, I remember someone saying that these four years were going to be the fastest of my life, and to enjoy them while they lasted. When I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter, everyone told me how time was going to fly.

Everyone was right.

I know it’s something you hear all the time: “It’s going to fly by… it’ll be over before you know it… enjoy it while it lasts… it seems like just yesterday…”
And sometimes it gets annoying. You think, “I know, I know. So I’ve heard.” But it really does fly by.

I can’t believe my baby girl is nearly three years old. And I can’t believe I have another little girl who is already six months old. It went by so fast. It’s going by so fast. And I don’t want to miss a thing. I love life as it is right now. Spending every second of every day with them. Watching them delight in new discoveries. Teaching them new things. Playing with them in new ways. Listening to Kaelyn tell me stories. Listening to Scarlett babble at her big sister. Watching the wheels turn inside their heads. Observing them observing our world.

Looking back on how quickly the past three years have gone by, I’m realizing there are things I don’t want to forget. Things I must remember. And I don’t know how else to catalog them. I have pictures, and baby books, but there’s only so much you can put in those. The things I want to remember are more complex.

The smell of Kaelyn’s hair when she’s just come out of a bath. The way her body curls perfectly in line with mine when we cuddle. The way she buries her head in my chest when she needs encouragement. The way her eyes seem to sparkle and the corners of her lips turn up when she says “I need a mama snuggle.” The way her top lip quivers when she’s being reprimanded. Her sad face; the one that comes right before a meltdown, when her cheeks flush red, her eyes become entirely full of tears, and her bottom lip is sucked under her top teeth. The way she stutters when she’s so excited to tell you something that she can’t get the words out fast enough. The sound of her little voice asking for some mama time. The way she tells me about her “dea” to go to the park, and the zoo, and then the museum. The sound of her laugh when she’s being tickled and has hardly any breath left in her lungs. The sound of her squeals when I’m chasing her. Her two year, eight month, and 5 day old smile.

The scent of Scarlett’s baby breath… sweet, clean, and so very alluring. The sound of her heartbeat, thumpthump thumpthump thumpthump, when I place my ear on her chest. The way her tiny chest rises and falls with every precious breath. The softness of the skin right behind her ear. My desire to kiss that skin repeatedly. The fuzzy spot on her lower back. The way she holds my finger while she’s nursing. The way she fits perfectly in my arms, and wraps her tiny arms around my neck. The way her little knuckles dimple. The image of her flailing her arms and snorting with an enormous, gummy, grin in response to me entering the room. The way she stretches in the morning, with one arm extended all the way up, and the other slightly bent. The sound of her 6 month, three day old giggle.

These are the things I want to remember, the things I simply cannot forget.

So pretty much WGU is amazing. They didn’t give me credit for a math course I took at my community college, but because earning credit at WGU is based on demonstrating competency in a subject I was able to breeze through the equivalent math course in 2 days, passed the assessment (like a final, cumulative exam at the end of a traditional course) with a 96%. Yeuuh. That brings my total credits completed so far to 12. In two weeks. Could anything be more awesome? I think not.

Scarlett is five months old, and I have no clue how tall she is or how much she weighs, but let’s just say she’s healthy. chunk-a-freaking-monk! She sits up on her own now (without toppling over), rolls from back to front and front to back, and she can scoot backwards a little bit. I don’t think it’s entirely intentional yet, but one thing is for sure: If you leave her on the floor and come back 2 minutes later, she will be facing a different direction, in a totally different part of the room. Ninja baby.

Kaelyn talks all. the. time. She never, ever, ever stops. I remember my mom asking me if I ever stopped talking when I was younger and I was always like wth is she talking about? I don’t even talk that much! I take it back. I probably did. Kaelyn sure does. I HATE the word “Why.” It’s never-ending.

If I say anything at all, she responds with “Why?”
“Well…(insert long, well thought-out answer here that is specifically constructed for the purpose of educating my extremely inquisitive toddler). ”
“Oh. Why?”
“Ummm….(insert another, totally different long, well thought-out answer here that is specifically constructed for the purpose of educating my extremely inquisitive toddler).”
“But why?”
“Because… (insert super simple explanation that does not require her to ask why here ).”
“Why, mama?!”
“I don’t know, Kaelyn. Because some things are and others aren’t!”

Seriously, never-ending. She’s super freaking cute, though. So I don’t completely lose my mind because I get to look at her cute face while she drives me crazy :)

It’s been really hard getting school work done with my two little crazies around all the time, so I’ve been staying up late and working into the wee hours of the night. My one-a-day coffee is my best friend at the moment. But honestly, I’m totally fine with surviving on very little sleep, because it means I’m working towards finishing my degree, and also being a full-time mom to my kids. Both are very good things, so I’ll sacrifice the sleep. Starting next month life will be even more crazy because Kaelyn will be going to play-school (like pre-preschool) two days a week for two hours each day, and we’ll be doing mommy and me gymnastics once a week while her and Josh do daddy and me soccer once a week as well. We’re also joining the MOPS group at a church we recently joined, and that meets every other week, and we’ll hopefully be getting plugged into some lifegroups there too, which will take up another day or two each week. So we’re going to be super busy!

Summer still hasn’t showed up here. People native to Washington get all defensive when you say that, but it’s true. Summer doesn’t exist here. They all lie! It hasn’t gone over 80 degrees once. And it’s only gone over 70 a handful of times. That is not summer. But “summer” will be ending soon and it’ll be rainy season again (because that ended, right? ha!) and I’m actually kind of excited. Fall is my favorite season and I’m chill with wearing jeans and boots and sweaters and baking yummy treats and sipping hot apple cider, and visiting pumpkin patches and all that jazz. Bring it on, fall!

I’ve decided that I want to be more honest, and I’m going to try to do just that. I’m usually pretty honest. In person, especially. People call me bitchy, but the truth is that I just call it like it is. Whatevs. And I used to be more honest online, but then something insane happened as social media blew up and everyone and their dog started using it. People who are usually the most reserved and quiet people in the world who never have two cents to add to anything suddenly became these crazy activists that want to fight with everyone about every. single. belief they have. And it kinda pisses me off, not going to lie. I’m all for a healthy debate every now and then, but when someone’s just talking about something nonchalantly or venting or something and a person gets all crazy “Let’s throw down, ho! I’m right and you’re wrong!” It BUGS. Sometimes people just like to bitch, and they don’t want to hear why their bitching isn’t politically correct.

But anyways, back on topic… I’ve become sort of hesitant to talk about things openly online. I try to filter what I post because I’m afraid of pissing someone off, or offending someone else. But somehow, even my filtered thoughts upset people. And I’m tired of it. I think what I think, you think what you think. They’re not always going to mesh, and that’s fine. Let’s not argue about it, k? So, without further ado, the real Tarynn is returning to blog world. The one that likes to vent and rant and share crude humor. I’ll probably be posting more often, and my posts will (probably) be more entertaining. That is, if you’re a normal person who doesn’t get your panties in a wad over anything and everything. But, this is the one and only warning. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. I’m totally fine with you disagreeing with me, just don’t be obnoxious about it.

Now that I’ve had Scarlett (and no longer live in California) I’ve been trying to figure out what my plan for continuing school is going to be. I had 50 credits completed from MSJC (community college), with plans to transfer to a Cal State or UC, but then we moved up here. Not only did my options for my last semester at MSJC totally suck (thanks to taking a semester off and getting a terrible registration date), but I’m also just over that school in general. So, I started exploring and found an entirely online university in Washington. Western Governor’s University. It’s a fully-accredited, state-endorsed, nonprofit University. How sweet is that?

The only downside is that they don’t offer a degree in English, but they do have an interdisciplinary studies program for elementary education. So, I applied and was accepted! I’ll be starting my program on August 1st. I’m pretty bummed, though, because I just found out that of my 50 completed credits, only 32 transfer. I’m losing a whole semester’s-worth of credits which really sucks. But, the beauty of this school is that it’s competency-based instead of credit-based, so you have the potential to move through the program a lot more quickly than you would at a credit-based university. So, even though I have so many fewer credits now, I should still be able to complete my program in 2 years (so long as I can finish 22 credit equivalencies every semester), and even faster if I’m able to manage more. And, at the end of the program (2yrs or less) I will have my BA in elementary education and be credentialed to teach in the state of Washington. The last term at this University will consist of my student teaching, so that’s the only part that isn’t online (it’s a 12 week, full-time teaching position within one of the Washington school districts). I still haven’t figured out how a full-time position is going to work (even though it’s only for 3 months) with my girls, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now I’m ready to dive in and hopefully knock out some credits quickly!

I don’t really have anything to talk about right now, but for some reason I decided to start typing. There is nothing in particular that I’d like to share, but my husband is at the store, my kids are sleeping, and the cup of coffee I finished half hour ago isn’t allowing me to sleep. So, here I am.

The first three thoughts that run through my head when I try to think of anything at all:
1. I wonder when Josh will be home.
2. I should make sure Kaelyn didn’t kick her comforter off again.
3. What am I going to make for breakfast tomorrow? Ah, crap. I really need to go grocery shopping.

Okay, here we go. Something somewhat interesting… Or so I hope. One thing that I have been thinking a lot about lately is how personally people take comments, criticisms, suggestions, opinions, observations, and the like. I don’t know what it is about society that makes an individual feel like he or she constantly has to be defensive. But people seem to be under the impression that everyone in the world is judging their every action and making assumptions about the kind of person they are. And that somehow those assumptions are accurate. Or that those assumptions are inaccurate. But even if the person supposedly realizes that the assumptions are inaccurate, he or she usually gets defensive and feels the need to provide an explanation, or to argue the fact that the assumptions are incorrect.

I know I’m guilty of this, to a degree. Sometimes an individual will offer me advice, and I decide the the advice was offered because that person thinks I’m doing things wrong. And then I get defensive and explain to the person that the way I am doing things is correct. And usually, I realize there is insight to gain from listening to the advice of this someone, but I choose not to make them aware of that realization. Other times, I know their advice is totally and completely misguided, and yet I will thank them and tell them that I will take it to heart. Generally speaking, it’s easiest for me to “accept” the advice that I know is wrong. Because I know deep down that whatever they are trying to convince me of is totally and completely ludicrous. And because this is something I’m 110% sure of, I just allow them to go on thinking that they are right. Because allowing them to think that they know what they’re talking about is a hell of a lot less time consuming than explaining to them how very wrong they are.

In any case, I think that allowing the opinions (or actions) of others to seriously affect you is pointless. And yet, so many people do it. Myself included. Sometimes I can’t help but take offense to comments that I hear. But generally speaking, I have enough self-assurance to laugh off the opinions of others. If I know that what I’m doing is right, why then should I care so much about what others think? Well, I shouldn’t. And if I do, it has to make me wonder if the reason I take so much offense to it is because I know deep down, that there is some truth behind it.